I've decided....

Not to tell ANYONE I know about this blog.

That way, if in my midlife ravings things get said that might cut....well you know.

Besides, I don't think I've ever really done something like this that is just for me. (Okay, there have been a few feeble attempts at diary keeping throughout my life...but come now, does that really count?)

What I think.

What I feel.

And I'm not speaking particularly of those near and dear. But of the whole damn world teaming with it's own set of expectations of us all.

Yeah this is TOTALLY about me -- me, me, me.

It's not pretty. But it is real.

So what triggers a mid-life crisis?

Who knows?

But I know what is suddenly triggering it for me.....

1. A young man I helped hire was just promoted to manager -- a position I backed away from.

2. I caught some of Somethings Got to Give.

Don't see the connection? You will.....

At 50....

My girlfriends and colleagues had parties.....

My sister got more holes in her ears.....

And I.....

I pretended nothing happened -- and forbade anyone else from acknowledging that anything had happened....

No big party.

No big change (instigated by me that is).

No milestone acknowedgement.

No midlife crisis.

No big deal.

I thought I had it licked.

I was wrong.